Humble Bumble Bee

Man, I gotta say: Orlando is paradise.
Palm trees. Shades. SPF 1000. The real deal.

A lot of things are on my mind as I begin what I’m calling, “My biggest adventure yet.”

FIRST: Doing a solo show. So…there is only you. Like you’re alone. It’s just you. I’m developing a great respect for artists who do this sort of thing. Last year I had Christy to share meals with, walks home, and gossip that you’re not supposed to gossip about. Now I got my blog, and the drive to literally reach out more to the people. Anyone really. So what I’m actually trying to say is, humans be my friend please.
Nah, it’s going to be a great, great time. Like I said to Christy, I never took for granted our time together but I do appreciate it now a lot more. Now that she isn’t here with me, belting our lungs out to our mash up of ‘all star’ and ‘living on a prayer’.
It’s that whole thing, you don’t realize what you got till it’s gone. So you know, put up that parking lot. Really enjoy what you got right now. I know I am. Still can NOT get over those geckos. Like I used to have one as a pet and now they just run across sidewalks here. I could have saved a lot of money picking up one of those bad boys off the street rather than that pet store.

SECOND: The most perfectly, perfect thing to watch on the plane ride over here: Birdman. HELLO. An artists ego? Are you kidding me, every so called ‘artist’ has GOT to watch that movie. It’s so perfect. It was so important that I watched that movie going into this summer tour. Like come on, the first thing I said to my tech was: “Soooo, did you like it.” Like come on Hayduk, grow a backbone.
Everywhere you go there is going to be people who love you and hate you and that is okay. Great reviews and people coming up to you saying ‘that was great’ are cool, sure. But WHO KNOWS, what if one day that doesn’t happen. Are you going to fall into a pit of self deprecation and fried food? Probably. I’ve done it.
Finding that approval for your work within is what I’m finding that I need to do before and after each show. Saying to myself, “I’m proud of what we created, I’m proud of the work I’ve put into it, and I’m excited to share it and hopefully have it resinate with the people.”
Then ending it with, “That was the good, and that I gotta work on.”
I don’t know, anyone else feel the same way? If your waiting for the approval of others, that doesn’t really give you anything to stand on if you fall, right?

The artists teaser preview is tonight at 6:30pm in the Orange Venue. Hopefully some of you Orlando darlings can make it, and see my hip hop dance (that’s right, I’m doing a hip hop dance, buckle up) along with some of the other talented show stoppers.

Anyway excuse me, as I must go, I need to nap before I Fringe my face off tonight. XO



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